Working on the biography of her father, Bienvenido R. Tantoco Sr., Philippine Ambassador  to the Holy See, which was launched in 2019, and her mom’s, which has yet to be launched, has allowed me the joy and privilege of working with Zenaida “Nedy” R. Tantoco (also known as ZRT to the Rustan’s family).

While ours was a working relationship, between a writer and his client, I had a few up-close and personal moments with her even outside of work.

The most recent was when she and her partner, the gentleman Patrick Jacinto, joined our DAILY TRIBUNE team in the celebration of our 23rd anniversary and the birthday of our lady publisher, Chingbee Fernandez. Together with other VIP guests, including Rupert Jacinto, we sat in a corner of The Peak at the Grand Hyatt. Ma’am Nedy, as I called her, was most gracious, conversing with us and graciously shaking hands with the editors introduced to her. One could sense a certain shyness, and yet, she was all smiles and was asking questions about the DAILY TRIBUNE. A good conversationalist, she talked animatedly with the lady beside her, Chabeng, or Mrs. Winston Garcia. She and Patrick left in an hour, but not after partaking of some cocktail food.

The first time I met her was in the early part of the century when I was the principal writer of Seagull Philippines, a publishing house that specializes in coffee-table books. But it was for a freelance assignment for Hola Magazine that brought me to her parents’ beautiful home in Forbes Park. As I expected, it was one impressive abode with artworks by the masters, mostly Amorsolo, and antique jars eliciting from first-time guests awe and admiration.   

Equally remarkable was an elegant merienda buffet spread of a leg of Jabugo ham, pasta and dainty rectangular finger sandwiches. With us were Nedy’s sisters, Menchu Lopez, Marilou Pineda, Marilen and Tokie Enriquez. The interview was about their memories of their mother Glecy. As the afternoon went on, it was obvious to me that the sisters loved, admired, and respected their big sister who also acted as their confidante, adviser, and number one moral support. “It was Nedy this…and Nedy that,” as they described how their eldest sister and their mom had been quite close and how she had since taken on the role of the family “matriarch” Glecy who was there for them in their every need and in both good and challenging times. Indeed, one perceived a woman who had taken over the reins of the many concerns that Glecy, in her time, had dedicated her efforts to.   

The first time I had a one-on-one encounter with Ma’am Nedy was in 2010 when I attended the awarding ceremonies of the Philippine Star Lifestyle Journalism Awards, of which I was one of 10 recipients. For this contest, I wrote about my friendship with Danny Dolor, a patron and a writing and research client. Among the major prices were 50 thousand pesos worth of Marks and Spencer gift certificates donated by the Store Specialists, Inc., one of the contest’s major sponsors. It was Ma’am Nedy herself who handed me my trophy and the gift certificate. As I was quite nervous when I delivered my acceptance speech, I forgot the lines that I had prepared and memorized and instead blubbered on aimlessly, in Taglish yet, and all very campy to everyone’s laughter. I looked at her and she seemed very much amused. She was smiling and giggling in a dignified way, but her face lit up and her eyes twinkled.

Then, my boss, coffee table book creator Bing Carrion, organized the First Seagull Asian Leaders Awards in 2011. She bestowed on Mrs. Glecy Tantoco a posthumous award, the highest rank among the awardees. On the same occasion, she awarded Nedy as an outstanding Asian Leader. Nedy came with her family. Being the principal writer of Seagull, I wrote her biographical sketch, for which I interviewed her staff, researched at the Tantoco-Rustia Foundation l library and went over back issues of glossy magazines that featured her.

In 2013, I moved to a start-up media company called Gozar Publishing, named after the owner’s family name. We came up with an initial title,  Powerplay, which we envisioned to cover the high-end recreation and gaming industry while promoting the luxurious lifestyle. The first thing we did, aside from creating what we envisioned as a trailblazing publication, was to solicit ads. As my publisher and fellow editors (I was editorial director) knew that I had written feature stories about ZRT, as she was known by many of her friends and associates, they asked me if we could solicit ads from the Rustan’s Group.

I sent ZRT a letter, and soon, we received an answer that indeed, we were welcome to visit her in her office and make a presentation. There were five of us who went there, including my boss Catherine Ching; the editor of Power Play. Jimbo Gulle; and our advertising director, Janet Manarang. They were all in their best outfits while I was in my usual collarless t-shirt, smug and confident that my imagined talent sufficiently spoke for my credentials. Those were the days when I hated dressing up like many other journalists and writers, although I failed to realize that ours was a glossy magazine and I had to project a “prosperous and stylish” image. I didn’t care about stylish grooming, not even when I worked briefly with the glossy mag that purports, and rightly so, to be the spirit of high society, much to the consternation of our editor-in-chief Anton San Diego who, out of dismay, once covered his nose while we were together in the car because my long-sleeved shirt reeked of naphthalene balls (to be properly dressed, I rummaged through my baul of hand-me-ups and hand-me-downs from my fashion-conscious relatives, who gave me their discards from 10 seasons ago).

And so, there I was in that meeting where Ma’am Nedy asked us all kinds of questions. It was like defending a thesis, only that this “professor” was very warm, encouraging and friendly. She said that our efforts were commendable, and expressed her approval of having her father Don Bienvenido and some Tantoco children on the cover. At the end of our three-hour meeting in their executive conference room, she committed to us not just one, but five ads in our next issue.  That she had given us her overwhelming vote of confidence surprised us, even if we had prayed for that outcome.  Thus was how we started a connection with Rustan’s, with Dina Arroyo Tantoco, who was then the company’s marketing manager, assigned by ZRT to assist us. Also present during that milestone meeting was ZRT’s sister Marilen. Nedy had her son, Anton, president of Store Specialists, called by her secretary and introduced us to him. 

Our group was in high spirits when we left. We were in the corridor when someone in the group remarked, “kahit pala nakatshirt ka lang, bibigyan pa rin tayo ng ads.” And then, another said, “dapat kasi bumili ka na ng blazer mo para anytime pupunta ka kay Ma’am Nedy, nakaporma ka.” We all had a good laugh, of course. That was in the last quarter of 2013 when we had our meeting with the CEO and Chair of the Rustan Commercial Corporation.

For our cover of the December issue, we featured Don Bienvenido with some of the little Tantoco girls all dressed up in their Rustan’s holiday finery. It was a big hit as our topic highlighted Rustan’s as the shopping place of choice for Manila’s 400 during the Christmas Season. 

Around the week before December 25, I received from Nedy a hamper of holiday goodies and, to my utter surprise, an elegant blue-and-white striped Oleg Casini blazer.  I was ecstatically pleased. I wondered if she had noticed that I looked shabby and so decided on this very beautiful gift. And so, at age 56, I finally owned a suit, thanks to ZRT. 

Her mom Glecy’s foremost protégé

That ZRT would turn out to be both a zealous, and no-nonsense honcho of Rustan’s Group, at the same time gracious, kind and compassionate, is an obvious result of the training and tough love that she and her siblings received from the legendary Glecy Tantoco. Glecy had been a dedicated mother who taught her children the value of work. Each learned the ropes of the retail trade when they were still children, whether helping in the gift-wrapping department,  receiving payment at the cash register, or receiving and handing out shoppers’ deposited items at the package booth. If they knew the customer, they went as far as escorting them to their cars. Nedy thus learned merchandising and personalized service from her mother Glecy at an early age.

Together with Rico, the eldest and only boy in the brood, Nedy accompanied their mom and dad, or sometimes just their mom, on shopping expeditions abroad to buy apparel, cosmetics, toiletry and home ornaments that Glecy intended to sell in Manila. That early, Nedy met the likes of Christian Dior and other top designers and manufacturers. It was an early exposure that prepared her for the future.

Her closeness to her mom was palpable. She recalled once getting sick in her convent school in Madrid when, after a few hours, her mom arrived from Manila. “I was surprised and I thought that she had been informed of my illness, but it turned out she just had this hunch that I needed her and so she flew to Madrid fast,” she recounted.

It was a connection between mother and daughter that would last for Glecy’s lifetime. Being the eldest girl, Nedy was her mom’s right hand and confidante. “One learned from just observing her,” Nedy told me. “And she knew what to buy to bring home to Manila, knowing that a friend or this society lady would buy it. And she was always right.”

She recalled in one of her interviews how the grand lady of National Book Store, Nanay Socorro Ramos, had kept through the years a beautiful necklace of semi-precious stones that, she narrated to Nedy, “Glecy bought in one of her trips. She wrote me a note saying that she found just the right piece of jewelry for me. To my amazement, it was exactly what I had been looking for.” 

It was that third eye, or intuition, that Nedy also developed through time. She simply knew what would click, and when she started Stores Specialists, Inc., which brought in prestigious foreign brands, she had in mind the many Filipinos who wanted only the best of the world for themselves. Nedy indeed understood what her mother wanted.

Writing Lolo Benny’s biography

Immediately after my first interview with her, I wrote her a letter and proposed the idea of writing her father’s biography. After a few weeks, she wrote back and asked that I visit her. And that was when we got to know each other even better. 

On my part, as I laid my cards on the table and told her who I was and what my background was, I made sure to mention that my father was the older brother of a dear friend of her mom, Rosario “Chayong” Silvestre Lee, whose friendship with the Tantoco couple went back to the postwar days when they were just starting their businesses and recovering from the ravages of war. My uncle, George F. Lee, belonged to a clique that included Benny Tantoco, Al Yuchengco, and Romy Villonco, among other young businessmen. Later, my Auntie Chayong and Glecy Tantoco would even become closer when they joined the first Jaycerette chapter in the Philippines along with the young Eva Kalaw. Of course, they also played mahjong occasionally on weekends.

Nedy was elated to know that I was my aunt’s nephew, an aunt whom she saw a lot of both in their store and at home during parties, and that somehow got us started on the right footing. Auntie Chayong’s daughter, too, my cousin Esther, briefly served as the store’s advertising director, in the mid-1960s after her German sojourn.

The next few months would see me constantly seeing the Tantoco family members all through the third generation, relatives and friends of the old Tantoco couple. Of course, I would have meetings with Nedy now and then to update her on our book project. With all these interviews being held in her parents’ residence, it was like I was “at home,” with Don Bienvenido himself instructing the kitchen staff “to feed Jojo very well. Ayaw kong magugutom siya (I don’t want him to be hungry).”

In time, when I had written the first draft, Nedy and I met once a week to discuss the various chapters. With us mostly were her sisters Marilen and Tokie who both contributed their comments and suggestions. Tokie especially pointed out points for improving the text, among others. But mostly, it was Nedy who was on top of how the book would go, including the choice of pictures. A Cum Laude graduate of the Assumption College, she knew her grammar and style. Not surprisingly, she knew her aesthetics, and again, had been at the forefront of planning and conceptualizing Rustan’s iconic Christmas display. 

We finally launched the book, Bienvenido R. Tantoco Sr., An Appointment with the Vatican, during the birthday celebration of Don Bienvenido in 2019. Nedy made sure I would attend. Again, she gifted me with a beautiful suit from Rustan’s, no less than one of those top Italian brands. It was my second jacket from Nedy and I wore it to many events in the coming years until I could afford to buy one myself during the annual sales of SSI brands. And that, too, was how I got my first Ferragamo.

When her father passed on during the pandemic, ZRT had me picked up by the Rustan’s driver and brought me to the family mausoleum at the Manila Memorial Park for the ninth-day prayers. Her son Anton, the master of ceremonies, introduced me to the Rustan’s executives and family friends who were present. It was a special moment as I received very warm applause. Earlier, during the funeral Mass before the remains of Don Bienvenido were interred, the Papal Nuncio, who presided over the concelebrated Mass read passages from the old gentleman’s biography that I wrote. It was an honor to be thus mentioned on that significant occasion.

A generous friend

Later on, we would start the book on her mother Glecy, and it was going on smoothly as I had begun writing it even if I still needed to interview more key informants. But then, along the way, I got very sick and had to undergo a triple heart bypass. Nedy called me and spoke of her concern. “Oh, Jojo, I just found out from Anton (San Diego) when we were having dinner. I am so worried about you. How are you?” She then sent me a substantial amount through my GCash account. And that Christmas, she sent me a large hamper of fruits and reminded me to stick to my diet.

The biography of Glecy Tantoco has yet to come out. Nedy passed on before I could show my first draft. We had agreed to submit it to her at the end of February. I asked to be closeted so I could focus and she agreed. She offered a condo unit at the BGC, thanks to her partner, Patrick, and I was about to move there when she got sick.

I heard of her passing the morning after from her best friend Babette Aquino, who informed me that her friend Nedy “went home to the Lord.” It was indeed a piece of very sad news for everyone whose lives she touched but most especially her family, friends and staff who worked directly under her including the loyal kasambahay (household help) and drivers.

I am told that she was happiest when she was with her family and her bosom friends, among them Babette, Mario Katigbak and the rest of their gang, including DJ Lopez, mostly those she invited to her milestone celebrations and New Year’s Eve countdown parties. Another set of friends whose company she enjoyed was that of artists and cultural managers like virtuoso pianists Cecile Licad and Raul Sunico, former Cultural Center of the Philippines President Nes Jardin, soprano Rachel Gerodias and CCP   Margie Moran.

Papal Nuncio’s celebration of High Mass made the difference

Last December, the Tantocos celebrated the birth centenary of Rustan’s founder Glecy. Nedy was on top of the preparations but a few days before the event, she got sick and could not make it to the commemorative Mass. No less than the Papal Nuncio, Mons. Charles Brown, led the concelebrated Mass with another family friend, Father Tito Caluag.  Nedy’s absence was felt, but no one needed to have worried because, as we were all saying, she was in the best position to consult with the top doctors of the land and avail of first-class medical facilities. She would return to work on time, again even working overtime up to eight in the evening. But that was Nedy, who seemed to enjoy working even as she loved hosting dinners and being with her family. Talk about being hands-on!

I wrote a front-page story about Glecy Tantoco on her birth centenary last December, the whole of it devoted to the Rustan’s founding matriarch, with a large sketch of her beautiful countenance. Nedy was ecstatically happy. But first I asked for her permission to publish the accompanying story and she texted me back: “Very nice Jojo! Indeed our family would be eternally grateful if you could run a story of Glecy Rustia Tantoco to commemorate her birthday anniversary.”

The DAILY TRIBUNE gave her a hundred copies and Nedy distributed them to friends and Rustans’ executives and loyal employees including the retirees. The copies ran out, and she texted me, “Could you send the office 200 more?” My publishers Willie and Chingbee Fernandez immediately gave the go-signal, for they have been very supportive of Rustan’s and SSI, making sure Nedy got what she wanted.

Later, I followed it up with a story about the commemorative Mass itself. But before I published it, I wrote to her and asked if she did not mind that she was not in the story (having been indisposed at that time), considering that it was she who had orchestrated all the commemorative events of her mom’s centenary. Her reply opened my eyes to yet another side of Nedy, the selfless one who prioritized her family and valued her parents’ legacy more than anything else in the world. She said, “Jojo, my absence is not relevant to the story of this special occasion. My role in this celebration does not change just because I was not able to make it. I still planned, organized and implemented it with a group of very efficient staff and associates. That is what you can include in your story. 

“THE BIGGEST PARTICIPANT WAS THE PAPAL NUNCIO! (all caps hers) He made all the difference. Your story must include the importance of THE HIGH MASS. Without the Papal Nuncio presiding, this could not have happened. The greatest gift we could give to Mom on her 100th birth anniversary is this most solemn HIGH MASS. In the eulogy delivered by Archbishop Charles Brown, he gave recognition to the honor bestowed upon my Mom by St. Pope John Paul II. To recognize her Service to the Catholic Church, she was given the Medal of Cross, Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice during Dad’s term as Ambassador to the Holy See. It meant SHE was active too during that time while my Dad served as Ambassador to the Holy See! Without this honor bestowed upon my mother by the Pope, the Papal Nuncio could not have been the Celebrant in this High Mass. These credentials given by the Pope to my Mom enabled the Papal Nuncio to celebrate this Mass. This High Mass with the Papal Nuncio as the main celebrant was what made the difference in our commemoration of our mother’s centenary.”

Jojo is my dear friend

Sometime before Christmas, I attended the Club Bulakeño Ball. I was seated at a table next to where Nedy was seated along with her close friends Sonny Tanchanco, John Gaddi, Ping Valencia, Rose Zamora, Rupert Jacinto and David Lim.

I overheard Sonny whispering to her, “I want you to know that  seated at your back is the DAILY TRIBUNE Social Set editor, Jojo Silvestre.” Why Sonny said that I didn’t quite grasp and understand, but it must have been his way of warning her that there was someone from the media who might overhear their conversation. To which she replied, and to Sonny’s delighted surprise, “Of course, I know Jojo, he is my dear friend.” She was in an elegant green dress of mid-calf length. In keeping with the Western theme, she had donned a cowboy scarf around her neck. In her usual accommodating and gracious self, she obliged those who came to greet her and asked to be photographed with her.  

Last July, when Nedy turned 77, my bosses Willie and Chingbee Fernandez sent her a bouquet of Ecuadorian roses. Nedy was very happy with their gift. She texted me: “Hi Jojo! I received the most beautiful, rare, and fantastic GOLD ORANGE ECUADORIAN ROSES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. It was amazing. They just made gift-giving art with their golden Ecuadorian roses. Kindly thank Mr. and Mrs. Willie and Chingbee Fernandez! And the huge birthday cake!!! What can I say?”

Before and after her demise, so much, indeed, had been said and written of the iconic Nedy Tantoco, Queen of Luxury Retail in the Philippines. I admire and respect her for her great achievements as a CEO and Rustan’s Chairman, but I love her from the bottom of my heart for the caring, sincere and generous benefactor, client and friend that she was to me.

No human being could take her place in that special corner of my heart. There will ZRT always remain, along with the good and happy times we shared.